Echoes of Yesterday
by BoandNora-ItsOneWord
Summary: Robert has always been there for Anna in the past...so what happens when he isn't? What will Anna do when she realizes she may have lost his friendship forever? Does she want it to be more? Is there anything she can do to get him to forgive her? This time the ball is in HER court...Will she fight for her man. #RnA
1. Chapter 1

This story was written so that I could work through my anger at how they are writing Anna at the moment. The beginning chapters will be very painful to read as a RnA fan (It certainly was painful to write) but my hope is that after the worst of it subsides, Anna will start to realize the truth behind Robert's words. Please bear with me until that happens. It might take a few chapters. lol

**Chapter One**

Raw anger shot through her as he walked passed her outside of Kelly's Diner. The only reason she knew he even noticed her was the look of cold fury present in his eyes. Robert Scorpio had been angry with her before…but never so much that he could not even look at her…never to the extreme where even hello was too much for him.

She caught up with him just before he opened the door. "Robert, do you have a moment," she questioned, every syllable clipped with restrained irritation.

His muscles grew tense as he turned around. He did not want to speak to her right now. He did not trust himself around her with his rage burning so hot and raw that he could almost feel the blood simmering in his veins.

_"What do you want,"_ he snapped.

_Old habits still die-hard. _

_"What is your problem,"_ She demands. "You act like you are _personally_ offended when this is _my_ life…_my _choices."

"_What happened to you Devane,_" he challenges. "_Where the hell is that strong, capable spitfire who I first met in Sean's Office? What happened to that woman who could think clearly on her feet…who used to give a damn about other people? The only people you care about now are the devil's Spawn and that idiot you think is so perfect for you?" _

"You're _Jealous?"_

_"Why would I be jealous of a man who thinks that convincing you to lie to your own family is how to show his love? That is not love Anna. That is enabling. " _

She takes a step back, the impact of his words as powerful as if he had slapped her. For a moment, she is frozen in place, too stunned to speak.  
_  
"Why does it matter so much to you?_ It is _not_ your business if I want to pretend to be Peter's mother."

_"No? What about Robin…Or have you forgotten about our daughter? You have created this new life for yourself with your new man and your fake son…you do not have room for anyone else. Tell me something Anna…What makes Peter so bloody exceptional? Why does he mean more to you then your own daughter? You were ready to destroy her with a lie but you will not even consider telling Peter the truth? Why? Why are you choosing a man who tried to kill you over our daughter?Doesn't she matter to you at all anymore?" _

"How can you even _think _that? I _love _Robin."  
_  
"And yet you are perfectly okay letting her think she has a brother, whose father is the man who tried to kidnap her, who took you away from her for years…why can you not see how selfish that is?"_

"I have _always_ believed I had a son Robert. Why should that matter to you and Robin?"

"_Why does it matter to me? Why does it matter?_ Anna, do you even _hear _yourself? You _swore_ to me for _years _that you _never_ had sex with Faison. Now you want to pretend that you did. On that day when we finally laid all our baggage out there, you _promised_ me that there were no more secrets between us. _I trusted you Anna. I trusted you. Are you saying that you were lying to me all along?"  
_  
"Robert, that's not…"

"Isn't it? You _always_ wanted more children Anna. I get that…But you are kidding yourself if you think that this is the way to go about it. Think about it. When was the first time you knew you had a son…it _certainly_ was _not_ in _all _the time I have known you…not until _very_ recently. Maybe you should ask yourself if the memory mapping could have happened much later than you think. "

"I don't have to ask myself _anything_ Robert. I have _always _known it is true. Just because you don't _like_ his father doesn't mean he's unworthy of love."

_"Then love him as his Aunt. For God's sake Anna, think about what this means…Think about how it will affect your family…how it will affect me…Or don't you care at all about me anymore? What we shared? Our history? Are you really telling me that for all these years, you have lied to me…to Robin…hell, even to the toilet flush…is that what you are saying Anna?" _

"Robert, I'm…I'm sorry."

"So Am I Devane…Because it changes_ everything_ between us. _I'm done Anna…I'm just done_. Next time you get yourself into a bind, _loose _my number. _This_ time I am _not_ going to be around to clean up your messes. _You have lied to me for the last time." _

"Robert _wait,_" she calls after him.

"There's nothing left to say. You have made your choice._ It was not me. It sure as hell wasn't Robin." _

Anna watches him leave with a heavy heart. _Did Robert Scorpio really just walk out of her life forever? _

A single tear falls down her cheek and she reaches for her phone. It goes straight to voicemail. _Maybe he really was done with her._

* * *

Robert is sitting in the car, balling his fists into a ball as he pushes them into the steering wheel. He can feel the tears well up in his eyes and he bites his tongue to keep them at bay. He knows he is much too angry and hurt to drive right now so he pulls out his phone to face-time the _one_ person who _might _be able to cheer him up.

"Emma, How are you Luv," he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

_"Grandpa_…It's _so _good to hear from you…Guess what? I won first place in my dance recital."

"Oh I wish I could have seen that. Did your parents take any video?"

"Of course they did," she beams.

"Well next time I'm down there, will you show it to me?"

"I can't wait for you to see it Grandpa."

"I'm so proud of you Emma Bear."

"Are you okay Grandpa," she asks. "You sound so sad…"  
_  
You have no idea…_

"I just miss you, that's all."

"I miss you too Grandpa. "

She blows him a kiss and he slaps his hand to his cheek to catch it.

"I have to go now Grandpa. Mom says dinner is ready."

"Alright. Give mommy my love."

"I will. I love you Grandpa. Thanks for calling."

"I love you too sweet girl."

He ends the call and starts the engine. He can no longer stop the tears from coming. _He doesn't have a clue how he will spend the rest of his life without Anna...but that woman he just spoke with...that wasn't his Annie...he doesn't even know that person...he doesn't want to. He misses the woman he used to know...The woman he married twice...the love of his life...Robin's mother... _

_"Where are you Annie? Come back to us." _

* * *

"Mommy is Grandpa okay," Emma asks.

"Why do you ask sweetheart?"

"He didn't sound right on the phone. I think something is_ really_ wrong with him."

Robin puts her arm around her daughter as they walk to the kitchen.

"There is only _one_ thing that can make daddy this upset," Robin concludes.  
_  
"He's fighting with Grandma,"_ Emma answers."

"You're _so _smart," Robin says, hugging her daughter as they walk to the kitchen.

"Your parents are arguing _again,_" Patrick asks.

"Well if they are, _somebody _is going to be in _trouble,_" Robin answers.

"She's little but she's loud," Patrick whispers to Noah.

"I _heard _that," Robin states. "Let's eat. I'll deal with my parents later."  
_  
I just hope they don't kill each other before then, she thinks. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Robin walks into the floating Rib and Mac's face curves into a smile.

"Uncle Mac," Emma exclaims as she runs into his arms.

"What are you two doing here," He asks, excitedly.

"Apparently my parents are fighting again so I came to get the bottom of it. "

"What has Robby done _this_ time," he quips.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure its _mom_ this time," she says.

_"Really?_" Mac questions.

"Daddy usually knows when he's screwed up. He is angry but he does_ not_ look like he just lost his best friend."

"He looked so lost Uncle Mac," Emma announces. "I have never seen him look so sad. I wish I could have given him a hug."

"You can do that later sweet girl," Robin promises. "Uncle Mac, I know this is last minute but do you think you or Aunt Felicia can keep an eye on this one while I talk to my parents. "

"I don't really need to be here today so we'll just go get some lunch and head back home. How does that sound?"

"Thank you Uncle Mac," She says, hugging him. "I love you."

"Back at you kiddo," he says.

Robin turns to Emma and kisses her cheek. "You be good for Uncle Mac. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Mommy."

Mac calls out to the bartender and tells him to watch the place because he is going out for a few hours. He takes Emma by the hand and they walk out of the door.

"Don't worry Emma. Your Grandpa is made of strong genes. "

"I know. I just don't like seeing him so sad."

"Neither do I bug. Neither do I."

* * *

Anna was rushing out the door just as Robin was about to knock.

"Where are you running off to so quickly," she questions. "Do you have a minute to talk?"

A flash of irritation swelled in her belly as she remembered Robert's words and she reached out to hug her daughter.

"What's wrong," Anna asked, reading Robin's tight- lipped smile and lowered eyebrows as well as Robin had read hers.

"Let's go inside and we'll talk."

Anna steps aside as Robin enters ahead of her. Anna sits down on the couch as Robin paces in much the same way her father always had. She can see the wheels turning in her daughters head but knows enough to keep quiet until she has worked out what she is going to say.

"I want you to tell me what you did to daddy," Robin finally asks, her voice so calm it almost scares her.

"Robin, what are you accusing me of," she challenges. "What did your father tell you?"

"Can you _please_ not answer a question with a question? I _know_ something happened between you two. He called my little girl last night and Emma was so upset she had to sleep with Patrick and I. She has not done that since she was small."  
_  
"What the hell did he tell her?"_

_"Don't_ blame daddy right now. He did _not _tell her anything. Emma is a very perceptive teenager and she _knows _when her grandpa, her _hero,_ is not okay. You know what she said to me after they finished Face Timing. She said he looked as if he just lost his best friend. So again, I ask. _What did you do to daddy?_ I am not trying to be rude mom; I am just trying to figure out what happened. You two are _too_ much alike. _Stubborn _as mules, too _proud_ to say I am sorry. I am just asking for you to tell me what was so important that you two are back to fighting again."

"He's _done_ with me Robin. He _finally_ told me he is walking out of my life for good. He won't answer my calls."

"Why? It must have been bad for him to react that way. He would not do that unless…Oh mom, _please_ tell me this is _not_ about _Peter._"

"_Why does everybody say his name like that_," she snaps.

"Maybe because he's _Faison's_ son…Maybe because…"

"Robin, he's _not _his father…"

"I didn't come here to listen to you defend him. Ever since that man walked into your life, you have been different. "

"You are still angry with me," she guesses.

"I'm worried. I miss my mom. "

"Robin, I'm right here."

"No you're not. Now _stop _deflecting and just tell me the truth. I will just get it out of dad if you do not. "

Anna pauses as she wipes at the tears in her eyes. "Robert's angry because I found out that Peter is not my son and I want to keep that information to myself."

Robin takes a step back, her eyes flashing with fury as she looks at her mother. "_Well no wonder he's angry._ _You are doing the same thing to Peter that you did to dad and me…_you are _lying _about who his parents are. I might not like the man but he deserves to know the truth. What happened to your regrets mom? What happened to the woman who swore she would rather _die_ than _ever_ lie about something that important again?"

"You don't understand Robin…"

"You're right…because the woman I grew up with would never admit to something that is not true. Why do you _not_ understand why dad is so upset? Do you _not get_ that by admitting you are Peter's mother, you are also admitting to lying to us all…for decades… You are admitting to being a _rapist…" _

"Robin…"

_"What?_ Did you not tell me that you seduced that man for information while he was drunk? Think about that. Drunk people cannot give consent. You _know_ that…And you are _not _a rapist. _Someone_ needs to give you some tough love before it is _too_ late. I love you mom. I do…But I am _not_ okay with you taking the rap for something that_ cheapens_ everything that you and dad _ever_ were…that makes everything _we _shared seem like just a wonderful dream."

"Robin, I _love you_. Please don't doubt that."

"What about Dad? Do you love him too?"

"Of _course_ I love him."

"I don't mean do you love him as a friend. I mean, are you _in love_ with him? You do not have to answer me right now. I just want you to think about this. You have _really_ hurt him mom. Probably more then you _ever_ have. You cannot just expect him to answer your calls when you just admitted that you have _lied_ to him for decades and have no intention of stopping. You _really _screwed up mom. If you want that amazing man back in your life, you are going to have to make the first move."

"I'm with Finn now sweetheart…"

"Does that mean you have to settle for something we _both _know does not truly make you happy? Let me ask you something mom…Who do you think of first thing in the morning and who is the last one on your mind at night? Who excites you…who gets your heart racing without even trying…who do you look for in a crowded room… and most importantly when you look at the end of your life, who do you imagine sitting right there beside you. If you answered dad to any of these questions, then you should not be dating Finn. Just because you are with him right now does not mean you cannot change your mind. He _loves_ you mom…he _always _has…why do you think he is so upset."

"Because I let him down," she admits.

"Maybe you did. So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know if there is anything I _can_ do...Robin…are we…are _we_ okay."

"I'm _angry_ mom. I need some time to sit with this. I'm going to see Dad."

Anna walks with Robin to the door and Robin turns back at the last second when she can feel her mom's eyes on her. "No. I am _not_ going to plead your case this time. How can I, when I do not understand it myself. I love you mom. But I need time... just like dad."

Robin walks out the door and Anna slides down against the back of it, her head in her hands as she cries. Was Robin Right? Had she _really_ messed things up so completely that she could lose both Robert and their daughter?

* * *

"Daddy, Its Robin. Would you _please _open the door?"

_"Robin? _What are you _doing _here," he asks.

"I came to see my dad. Now _open_ the door or I _swear_ I will kick it in."

"This really isn't a good time sweetheart," he says.

"I don't care. _Open the damn door._"

_"You're just as bossy as your mother,_" he yells, when he finally pulls the door back.

"Oh Daddy," she says, wrapping her arms around him. "Have you really been sitting here in the dark drinking?"

"You_ know_ I don't like you to see me like this sweetheart."

"Well that's too bad. I have a little girl who was worried sick about her grandpa."

"Oh Robin, I'm sorry. I never meant to scare her."

"I _know _you didn't…But you know what? She loves her grandpa. I happen to think he's pretty great too."

"I'm sorry," he says again, when she helps him back to the couch."

"Don't you _dare_ apologize? I talked to mom. I _know_ what happened. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"You mean you're not going to yell at me for walking away from her?"

She kisses Robert's cheek and lays her head on his shoulder. "I know you are hurting so much right now. Believe it or not, I happen to agree with you this time."

"Really?"

"Really," she says. "I kind of let mom have it. Not because I wanted to hurt her but because I think she really needs to know that she has other options."

"I _never _wanted to hurt her Robin. It was the _last_ thing I wanted."

"Dad, I _know_ you're in love with her. You do not have to admit it but I have _always_ known that is why you never moved on. I understand that you are trying to save her from herself. So am I. Right now though, I am _really_ worried about my daddy. Emma is right. You look like you just lost your best friend."

"Because I _have_ Robin. I lost my best friend, my partner, my soulmate…"

"The love of your life," Robin finishes.

"That too. Quite frankly, I lost my _everything._"

"We'll get through this together okay? Emma really wants to see you. She wants to give you a hug. "

"You two are the best medicine I could ever ask for."

"Good. I will give Uncle Mac a call and have him bring her down here. We can play that new Spy game you bought her."

"I would love that princess."

"Am I really still your princess?"

"Always and forever baby girl. I love you."

"I love you too daddy."

She gives him another kiss on his cheek and goes to call her uncle Mac. Robert needed his family right now._ All _of them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Anna opens the door with a bottle of brandy. Felicia walks passed her without a word.

"Are you sure you should be drinking brandy girlfriend, "Felicia asks. "Didn't you and Robert like to drink that together?"

Anna grimaces and sets the bottle down. "Not just brandy Felicia, but you do make a good point. Maybe I should try something new."

"Maybe you should stop getting drunk."

An uncomfortable silence settles over them as they take a seat on Anna's couch.

"Why are you here," Anna finally asks. "You don't hate me too?"

Felicia reaches for Anna's hand and smiles. "Robert does not hate you Anna. You broke his heart. There's a difference. And no, I don't hate you. I never could."

"Felicia I…"

"Just listen okay. I am here because I want you to know two things. First, you really hurt Robert. I am not talking just flesh wound hurt…I am talking take a bullet for you hurt. Second, even after all of that, the man is still hopelessly in love with you. You might not want to hear this Anna but he does not want to feel like this. Do you have any idea how hard it was for him to cut the cord? He feels betrayed by the person he trusts the most in this world. For over Forty years, he has been there for you…sacrificing his own happiness for yours. He was willing to do that when he thought that you would still have his back… but now…Anna, I love you but you cannot say that you did not hurt him. You have to give him time to heal."

"How do you know so much about my ex-husband, "Anna quips?

"I'm married to his brother…and he's my friend. I saw him a couple minutes ago when I dropped Mac and Emma off. He looks like he has not slept in weeks."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you are my best friend and I love you. I want you to realize that just because you think you are doing the right thing does not necessarily mean that it is. "

"Why can't they just realize that this is my decision and leave it at that?"

Because it isn't just your decision Anna. It upsets your whole family. I am not going to tell you what to do but I will tell you this. At the end of the day, you are going to have to ask yourself if your choices are worth losing your family. If they are worth losing Robert.

"I love Finn now," Anna rationalizes.

"Do you…Or are you just settling for the love you think you deserve? Think about that sweetheart. Think about what you would do if Robert walked in here today and told you that he loves you…would Finn still be the one you chose or would it be Robert? You deserve to be happy Anna…but so does he. I do not think either of you would be this upset if It did not matter so much. It only hurts like that when it matters. Think about that."

Felicia gives Anna a quick kiss on her forehead and then tells her she has to get back to her family. _Robert's family, Anna thinks. Her family._

As soon as Felicia closes the door, Finn steps through it. He goes to give her a kiss but she surprises herself when she turns her face away from him.

"Well this is a first," he acknowledges.

"I'm sorry okay…I just need to be alone for a little while.

"What happened? Did Scorpio do something to upset you?"

_No, I did something to upset him. _

"You can't fix this Finn. I know you want to but you can't."

"I just want to help you."

"You can't do that either."

She looks at him as he watches her and a realization hits her. Finn is standing three feet away and she still feels alone. Why did she never notice that before now?

She rises from the couch and grabs her purse. She suddenly feels as if she needs air.

"I'll be back late. Don't Wait up."

She walks passed him and shuts the door. Finn stares at her retreating back and wonders what in the hell just happened.

* * *

Robert walks out onto the balcony and looks out into the waterfront. The silence was so loud he could hear his own heart thumping in his chest. There is a chill in the air but he does not feel it through the numbness in his muscles. _He wonders if Anna is looking at the same view tonight. _

"Bloody Hell, "he curses. "Why am I still thinking of her.

A kaleidoscope of memories flood his mind as he stares out into the night. He does not want to remember how her lips felt on his or the way she used to look at him. He wants to forget how warm she felt in his arms or how turned on he was with a single touch.

"Make it stop," he cries. "Please God, make it stop."

It was as if a dam had opened and once that first tear had fallen, a thousand more were waiting to burst through. He grabbed hold of the railing for support as he sunk down onto the floor.

* * *

Anna stands out on the waterfront as a single tear falls from her cheek. She used to spend so much time down here over the years…a lot of it with him. She stares at her phone, almost as if she is willing him to call, knowing that he will not. _She cannot help but wonder if he is out there somewhere looking at the same view. _

She has known this man for over forty years and somehow every time she thought of her life, he has always been a part of it. The most important memories, included him…the happiest, the saddest…even the ugliest. It was different this time. This time she could not call him. She could not expect him to show up at odd hours with that silly grin and a story. She could not even expect to see him somewhere in town anymore. She knew he would be avoiding all places that they used to frequent.

_He wants nothing to do with me,_ she thinks. Why does that thought bother her? Why does knowing that the legend that is Robert Scorpio is not going to be waiting for her anymore, make her feel like she is mourning the death of a family member.

_He is not waiting for you anymore. _

"Is that what I was doing," she questions. "Was I really hoping he would wait for me?"

_You took him for granted Anna. You just always expected that he would forgive you. That he would always be there. You did not appreciate him when you had him. How can you be surprised that he would give you what you said you wanted eventually? _

"But this isn't what I wanted," she cries, answering her own thoughts. "I never wanted him to really leave."

_But you said you did...And you certainly acted as if you wanted nothing to do with him. _

"I didn't mean it. Dear God,I didn't mean it."  
_  
Then fix it Anna. Fix the heart you broke. _

"How? How can I ever make things right again. "

_You know how. _

"There has to be another way. There has to be."

_I am Sorry Robert. I am so sorry. _

* * *

"Why is grandpa crying Mommy," Emma whispers. "He never cries."

Robin holds Emma's hand as they lay on either side of Robert in the bed. Emma had gotten up in the night to get a drink of water and had found her grandpa on the balcony. She had been worried that he hurt himself somehow because he was barely moving. Together she and Robin helped him back to bed and waited for him to fall asleep.

"He is a proud man Emma. It does not mean he does not feel emotions like this. It just means he fights them harder. "

"Is he going to be okay," she asks.

"You and I are going to make sure he is. Go to sleep now sweetheart. I think grandpa wore himself out now. We all just need some sleep. It will look better in the morning."

"Okay mommy," she says, as she wraps an arm around her grandpa and cuddles in closer. Robin looks once more at her daughter and smiles. Emma is wise for her age. She has never been more grateful for that.

"We're here for you daddy," she whispers, as she wraps an arm around his other side, cuddling just as close as Emma does. "We love you."

She closes her eyes then, finally nodding off for the night with memories of when she was a little girl and her father used to hold her just this way. _Her father, her hero. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Stop it mom. Stop calling him," Robin snaps.

"Robin please. I just want to talk to him."

"You can't okay. Not now. He doesn't want to talk to you."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"You have to stop trying to fix things on your terms okay? He is not going to forgive you when you have not even done one thing that he asked you to do."

"Is he…Robin, can you at least tell me if he is okay?"

"No mom, he's not okay. I have seen daddy struggle with many things over the years but none of that compares to what you did to him. You broke him mom. You really broke him. I am sorry but I have to go. Please don't call him again."

The phone goes dead and Anna throws it at the door.

"What did that phone ever do to you," Finn asks, as he walks inside.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"Not tonight Finn. I'm going out."

"Again?"

"I can't be here okay. I can't look at you anymore when I know that it's your fault I lost Robert."

She picks up her purse and keys and just like the last few days, Finn watches as the door slams in his face. _What in the hell was she talking about? _

* * *

Anna sits at a table at Kelly's Diner as she plays with the fries on her plate. She wishes she had not broken her phone now. _Why? He is not going to call you._

"Are you okay Anna," Bobbie asks, as she joins her at the table.

"Not even close," she answers.

"You want to talk about it."

"What can I tell you that would make it okay? Nothing will ever be okay again."

Bobbie reaches out to take her hand. She does not say a word. She does not need to.

"I don't know what to do Bobbie. I never thought there would come a day when calling Robert was not an option. I lost the best friend I ever had and it hurts. It hurts so much."

"You miss him?"

"I need him in my life Bobbie. I don't deserve him but I do."

"Then maybe you have to think about how to fix things."

"How do I fix something I broke?"

Bobbie wanted to ask her what she meant but then the doors opened and Robin and Emma walked in.

"You want a piece of pie sweetie," Bobbie asked Emma.

"No thank you," Emma says. "I don't feel so good."

"Well how about I bring you something for that tummy," Bobbie asks.

"Thank you Aunt Bobbie," Robin answers.

* * *

"I know you don't like it when they see you struggle Robby but they love you. They just want to help," Mac says.

"I don't want them to look at me differently okay. I am supposed to be their hero. I wanted to be Anna's hero but I guess she does not need me anymore."

"Oh Robby, You know that's not true."

"Do I? All I can see now is how easy it is for her to replace me in her life. To replace Robin. When did she stop needing me Mac? When did we become as interchangeable as a piece of furniture? I did not need to be her everything. I just wanted to mean something to her. How can all of our history mean nothing to her? How can I mean nothing to her? I do not know who I am without her. If I do not have her in my life then what good am I? What GOOD am I?"

"Robin loves you Robby. So does Emma. They see you struggle but they also see you overcome it. It might not feel like it right now but you are a lot more than just the man that loves Anna. I know she was the center of your world for over four decades and maybe that will never change but right now, you need to know that you matter too. You can try to push us away but we are your family and we are not going to let you sink. So go ahead Robby…tell me again how you do not matter. You matter a hell of a lot to me. To Robin. To Emma."

"Bloody Hell," Robert swears, as he puts his head in his hands, trying to will the tears away. Mac just puts his arms around him as they come. "Don't worry big brother. Your secret is safe with me," he says.

"Thank you," he whispers. "I know I don't say it very often but I love you."

"I love you too old man."

* * *

"Emma has something she wants to ask you," Robin says to Anna. "She's been very upset and she needs you to make her understand. You can do that right?"

"Of course I can. You can talk to me sweet girl. What's on your mind?"

Emma looks at Anna with so much sadness in her eyes. "I thought grandpa was invincible but he isn't. He looks so defeated now. I have never seen him so upset. You really hurt him. I do not understand how you could do that to him. Why did you want him to suffer like that? He's a hero."

"Emma, Sweetheart…"

"She's not a little kid anymore mom. She sees things. Just be honest with her. Please."

"Sweetie, I never wanted to hurt your grandpa. "

"But you did. I have never seen him cry in my life. He was crying last night. I do not like to see my grandpa so sad. He's one of the greatest people I have ever known."

"He is," Anna cries. "I am so sorry Emma. Your grandpa and I fight…you know that we do."

"But not like this. You do not hurt each other like this. You need to fix this grandma. You and grandpa save the world…why can't you save each other?"

Emma gets so upset that she runs out of the diner crying. Robin looks at Anna.

"She loves you mom but she's hurting. For the first time in her life, she is seeing her grandpa as a man and not a super hero. She is thirteen years old but right now, she is just a little girl who loves her grandpa. You can see that can't you?"

"I'm sorry Robin. You know how much I love you. How much I love Emma."

"And Dad? "

"You know I do."

"Then think about what you're doing. Do you really want Emma to grow up to resent you when she finds out that her grandma chose another family over hers? "

"Robin, that's not what I'm doing."

"Sure feels like it. Look, I have to go. My father and my daughter need me. "

Anna watches as Robin walks out the door and she feels the loss as acutely as she felt the loss of Robert. _She was losing her family now. She was losing everything. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

He looks at the bottle of brandy again. Runs his thumb across the year. It was a good year. The year he met Anna. She was so self-assured, so breathtakingly beautiful, so fearless. She changed everything for him then. For over four decades, he was convinced that meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to him. Now he was not so sure. He would never wish his daughter away but he wishes this pain would stop.

"Maybe I was wrong," he admits to himself. "Maybe it would have been better if we never met."

He lifts the bottle of brandy and hurls it across the room until it shatters. "I can't even enjoy my favorite drink anymore. You've ruined even that for me."

He picks up another one and throws it. When he is finished with the bottles, he goes into the closet and takes out a shoebox full of old mementos. It was his life with Anna. Memories he only allowed himself to remember when he was alone.

"What's the point of all this stuff anymore? The woman I made all these memories with does not exist. Maybe she never did."

"Do you really believe that Dad," Robin asks, as she walks into the room.

"All I know is that I feel like a fool. I was the one who believed in her when the rest of the world shunned her."

"You loved her daddy. There is no shame in that."

"There is when it turns out that every word out of her mouth was a lie. What was I to her Robin? Was I just another one of her missions? Did I ever mean anything to her?"

"I know you are hurting so much right now. You have every right to question what was real. But just look at that box in your hand. Do you really believe that she could have been lying to you about all of that? You and mom were in love. I know she lied to us about so many things…But not that…Never that. Please daddy…do not question how she felt about you…How she still feels about you."

"How can you say that Robin…she is throwing us away like garbage…?"

"I know…but maybe underneath all of that, she does still love you. I can question everything else but I have never questioned that. Don't you dare start questioning what you have always been to each other? You were not the only one who fell in love. There are some thing you just can't fake."

"What good does that do me now? It is not just the woman I love that I lost…I lost my best friend too. I cannot even enjoy the things I used to love because it was something we loved together…who in the bloody hell am I Robin…I feel like I no longer have an identity. "

He looks at the box in his hands and starts taking out items. "I don't want this stuff anymore. It's suffocating me. Get me a bloody match. I am going to burn it all."

Robin kneels at the foot of the bed and takes his hand into hers. "You aren't going to do that daddy. If you need to break something, I will get you some more bottles. I am not going to let you destroy what is left of your memories."

"Why?" he yells. "Why won't you let me purge her from my mind?"

"Because it does not work that way. Are you really going to tell me that burning this stuff is going to make you stop missing her…stop loving her…stop wanting to call her."

"Robin, I…"

"Daddy, just because you are angry…just because you are hurting…it does not mean you don't still love her with every single broken piece of your heart."

"I wish I didn't. You have no idea how much I wish I didn't."

"I know…But burning these things…it is not going to help. One of these days when the pain subsides, you are going to wish you held on to them…So no daddy, I am not going to get you a match. I am going to take these things away so you are not tempted to burn them again. You might not want them now but someday you will…and if you do not, then I do. It's part of my history too."

Robin picks up all the little trinkets and puts them back into the box. She walks to the door and opens it. Emma comes in.

"There's a little girl here, who needs her grandpa. Do you think you can pull yourself together enough to reassure her?"

Robert wipes at the tears in his eyes and whispers. "Come here Emma Bear. "

She walks a little hesitantly towards her grandpa and Robert takes her hand and pulls her into his lap. He kisses her cheek and she snuggles against him as she did when she was little.

"I guess I scared you a little huh?"

Emma shakes her head and Robert takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry Emma Bear. I am having kind of a hard time right now. It's really hard for me to admit that."

"I know," Emma says.

"Okay. Well now that that's out of the way, do you think I can ask you a favor?"

"Of course you can Grandpa. I love you."

"I love you too my Emma Bear. Can you and mommy just not give up on me yet? I'm trying to find my way but sometimes I get really sad."

"Is that why you broke all those bottles?"

"Yeah,"" he admits. "Yeah it is."

"Well maybe next time you get sad, you can come find me and I'll give you a hug. I bet it would make you feel a lot better than breaking those bottles. Now you just have to clean it up."

Robin smiles and Robert laughs slightly. "You have a smart daughter here Robin. Her hugs always make everything better."

"They sure do," Robin admits.

Robert motions for Robin to come forward and they share a group hug. Afterwards, Robin helps Robert clean up the glass while Emma takes Robert's box into her and her mother's room. Tomorrow Robin would insist on getting her father out of the house. Today they were just going to cuddle up and watch some movies.

_Please let Daddy be okay, Robin prays. Please. _

* * *

Anna walks into the apartment late and takes off her shoes. She does not turn on the light and is about to walk into the kitchen when Finn flips on the switch.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he questions. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Who are you, my mother," she snaps.

"Anna, I was worried."

"Well as you can see, I am perfectly capable of getting myself home. I do not need you to tell me what to do."

"You're drunk."

"So what? I'm not the addict."

"Maybe not but you sure are lashing out like one and I don't even know why."

"I'm not one of your patients Finn. You don't get to analyze me."

"So now you are going to criticize everything I say? I don't know how to deal with you when you are like this. I'm going to bed."

"Oh go ahead and ignore this. It's what you do best."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You walked away from Hayden didn't you?"

"Don't bring Hayden into this now."

"Why not? You were not man enough to go talk to her. Find out what she wants. No, you were just a little boy who wanted to pretend that you did not care what she had to say. A real man would have had the guts to face his past. I do not need a little Boy Finn. I need a man. "

"Oh so now I'm not man enough for you? What happened to the woman who thought I was wonderful? The woman who swore up and down that she wanted to be with me. What happened to that woman Anna?"

"I'm not going to stand here and stroke your ego Finn. My God, at least Robert knows how to have an argument with me."

"Now you are just trying to piss me off and it is not going to work…"

"Of course not. You do not have the balls to fight back. Well guess what Finn. Fighting back is not the only thing that Robert is more passionate about than you are…Dear Lord the things that man knows how to do to a woman's body would make any romance novel seem tame."

"So now it's Robert you want," he yells, as he steps closer to her. "Think carefully Anna. You can't take this back."

"What are you going to do…Hit me? I'd like to see you try."

"Do you or do you not want to have sex with Robert," he asks.

"What if I do…what are you going to do about it? You don't even have the balls to have an argument with me…you certainly won't be able to handle what you don' do for me."

He steps back, putting his hands up in silent defeat. "Do what you want Anna. You always do anyways."

He turns and walks out of the room and she throws her shoe at his retreating back. "Coward," she yells. "You fucking coward. "

Tears stream down her face as she stumbles towards the kitchen in her bare feet. She walks as if the earth was violently lurching beneath her and quickly grabs the counter when she sways a little too much to the right.

"Ouch," she swears. She digs her new phone out of her purse and stares at his number. He is still number one on her speed dial. Sitting at the kitchen table, she pulls up a new text message.

**"Why can't Finn be you Robert? Why can't he touch me like you? I want your hands on me Scorpio. I want to feel you quiver underneath me. I miss you Robert. I miss the things that only you can do to me. I miss the way we were. **"

Robert turns over in the bed when he hears the phone ding. He almost did not read it when he saw her name. Old habits die-hard.

"Well there you are Annie. Maybe all hope is not lost."

He does not text her back but for a brief second he allows himself to wonder if maybe Anna is coming to her senses. _He misses her. God help him, he misses her. _

"Why did you have to get me all hot and bothered Annie? Even when I am angry with you, I am still hot for you. What is wrong with me?"

He climbs out of bed and walks into the bathroom. He needs to settle himself down so he can sleep again…he does what he has not had to do in a while now…he thinks of Anna while he pleasures himself with his hand. He could never know that Anna was lying in bed thinking of him…and doing the same thing to her own body.  
_  
They were not speaking to each other now but it did not mean they did not still ache for each other. Passion was always the last thing to go._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Shards of glass must be digging into the back of Anna's eyes now; her eyelids seem stuck together as she tries to open them. She recoils at the brightness of the sunlight and closes them again.

Her mouth feels like sandpaper and her head aches as if someone is sawing it in half. She tries to sit up but her limbs feel heavy and unresponsive. She knows what this is. That feeling you get when you are certain you are going to die in about five minutes.

The smell of death seems to fill the room and it takes a good ten minutes for her to realize that the smell is actually the vomit caked in her hair.

"**Shit,**" she curses, as she slams a hand over her head and immediately regrets it. Her memory is foggy but visions of her touching herself and some heated words said in a text message have her reaching for her phone.

"**Shit, that really happened.**"

She reaches for her robe as she staggers into the bathroom. She needed a shower. A Good hot shower.

* * *

Robert spent the day with Emma and Robin. They started the day at the zoo and then Emma wanted to show him her dance recital. Robert was putting on a brave front but every so often, Robin knew he was struggling not to break down. Emma was now spending some time with her friend Spencer so it was just Robert and Robin. She wanted to have a little time alone with him.

They were just outside Kelly's when Peter came out of the door. Robin tried to steer her father away from him but it was too late.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the golden boy. All hail, the devil's spawn. "

Peter glares at him but Robert steps in front of him. "Tell me something Heinrich. How does it feel to know that you are so much more superior to us lowly Scorpios?"

"Go to hell," Peter yells, as he tries to walk away from him.

"Don't you walk away from me," Robert growls. "I'm not finished with you."

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"Maybe that's because nobody ever bothered to teach you manners. Your father is a monster. Your mentor is not much better. I wonder just how far the apple really does fall from the tree don't you."

Peter lunges for him but Robert blocks his attempt and throws him hard against the wall. "You might have Anna convinced that you are the greatest thing since sliced bread but don't you worry. Most of us know what a piece of garbage you are. When the time is right, you will get exactly what you deserve. Have a nice day Heinrich. I know I will."

When Robert turns around, Robin has her hand on his shoulder.

"Do you feel better now?"

They both turn at the sound of Anna's angry voice.

"Actually I do. You on the other hand, look like hell. What is the matter Devane? Is Finn not keeping you satisfied?"

_**BASTARD**_

"Robert, please don't go. We have to talk."

"Unless you are here to tell me that you are going to tell Peter the truth then I have nothing to say to you. "

"Robert, I miss you."

"I wish I could believe that."

He turns on his heel and walks away. Robin gives her mother one more glare before walking away as well. Anna sinks down into a chair as she watches her family leave.

"You want some advice, "Bobbie says, as she walks outside to join her.

"How much did you hear?"

"Not enough to know what is going on. "

"I screwed up Bobbie. I really screwed up. And last night I got drunk and made things worse."

"Worse how?"

"I said some things to Finn that I do not exactly regret but probably should not have said…"

"And…"

"I drunk texted Robert."

"Give me your phone."

"Bobbie…"

"I'm your friend Anna. I am not going to judge. I just want to see how bad it is."

Anna sighs and pulls out her phone.

"Oh Anna…Is this true? Are you still in love with Robert?"

"I don't know…but I miss him. He won't even talk to me now and last night I…I…"

"Had to pleasure yourself?"

"How did you…"

Bobbie smiles and takes Anna's hand. "It's nothing to be ashamed of Anna. Although it does mean that, you are probably with the wrong man. If he does not do it for you Anna…"

"I said some awful things to him."

"Things you don't regret?"

"I was angry okay. I still am. Although telling Finn that arguing with me is not the only thing Robert is more passionate about than him probably was not the best thing to say…"

"Oh Anna…"

"What is wrong with me Bobbie? Why am I picking fights with him?"

"I think you know why. He is not the man that drives you to distraction. He is not the man that gets you so riled up that you do not know whether to kiss him or hit him. Finn is easy Anna. He is simply not the intensity you and Robert have."

"So what do I do?"

"I cannot make that decision for you Anna but I can tell you this. If I had a second chance with Tony then you had better believe that I would do everything in my power to convince him to give us another shot. I do not have that chance Anna but you and Robert might. I think what you said to Finn while you were drunk is exactly how you feel. Drinking just gave you the courage to say it. Think about that Anna. Because at the end of the day, what really matters is who you cannot imagine your life without. You cannot have them both…so which one can you live without?"

She gets up from the chair and kisses Anna's cheek. "I have to get back to work."

Anna puts her head in her hands and lets the tears come. She never knew it was possible to miss someone this much.

_What am I going to do without you Robert? I feel so empty. Why won't you speak to me?  
_  
**"I know why. I just keep hoping that things will change."**

_And what if they don't? Can you really live the rest of your life without him?"  
_  
**"No. Of Course, I cannot. "**

_Why not?_

**"Because…Because I love him."**

"So apparently you are still lusting after Scorpio," Finn snaps.

"Go away Finn. I came here to be alone."

"I think I deserve an explanation Anna. What in the hell happened? Why are you so angry with me? "

She rises from her chair, her face red with fury.

"Maybe because you are the one who convinced me to lie to Peter…and because of that my family is falling apart," she rages. "Or don't you care about that?"

Finn is so speechless he does not know what to say at first. "Anna, I'm sorry," he states, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't," she demands. "Don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me again?"

She gives him one more irritated glance before storming off, leaving Finn to wonder if she had just ended their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Robert left Robin and Emma asleep at 6 am when he decided it was time to start living again. He had not slept much in the last few days and if he ate at all, it was only bits and pieces. This morning, he put together a power meal and grabbed his bottle of water before leaving his girls a note and heading out.

He thought that going for a morning run would help him clear his mind but all it did was give him more time to think of Anna. He had to stop a few times on the road because he was clearly out of practice but he pushed himself even harder afterwards. He told himself it had nothing to do with forgetting but he knew that was a lie. He wanted to focus solely on his workout so he did not have to think about what he was feeling.

Somewhere around 7 am, he runs into a familiar face.

"Looking good Robert," Felicia says. "Maybe you could talk your brother into going with you next time."

He smiles at her because he knows she means well. "It would kind of defeat the purpose of clearing my head, don't you think?"

Felicia raises an eyebrow at him as they both come to a stop at the corner of Kelly's Diner.

"How are you Robert?"

"I figured it was time to put one foot in front of the other. Or try to anyways."

"How is that going for you?"

He hesitates so Felicia takes his hand. "Robert, you are my friend too. I care about what happens to you. You can talk to me."

"I appreciate that Felicia. I know this cannot be easy for you."

"It is not _my_ life that has been turned upside down by the love of my life. The person I thought I could trust more than anyone else in this world. Are you going to deny that?"

"What would be the point? I hate that Robin and Emma have seen me at my weakest Felicia."

"Robert, they _love _you. They just want to help you the way you have _always_ helped them. Believe it or not, you do _not_ have to be _superman_ with _everyone_."

He pauses as he looks at her. This was not an easy thing for him to admit. "I am beginning to see that as hard as I try to be strong for them, sometimes I can't be. Sometimes I do need them."

"Needing someone is not always a bad thing Robert."

"I needed _Anna_…Look where _that_ got me? I spend my nights staring at the ceiling because I cannot sleep without dreaming of her and if I dream of her then…"

"You want her."

"Not only that but I have to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling her because if I do that then I will _hate_ myself. As much as I _want_ to hate Anna, I just cannot bring myself to do it. I also cannot give in to the urge to call her because it is not what I need right now."

"Oh Robert. I know you are hurting so much. I just want you to know that _you_ matter too. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can call me. I care about _both_ of you. I can be impartial. A lot more than your brother."

"That's probably true…But this is also something I need to work through on my own terms. I am not going to deny that there is a huge void in my life where Anna used to be. I'm not going to pretend that I don't miss her."

"But?"

"But I can't be that fallback guy okay. Anna needs to find her own way in this too. She needs to figure out what is more important to her. I have forgiven her for many things in the past but that was when I thought she had my back just as I had hers. This time it just feels like she threw me to a pack of wolves without any backup and that might be okay if she did not do the same thing to Robin…to Emma. I can deal with how she hurts _me_…but Robin…Emma…that is something I _can't_ deal with."

"You're just being a protective papa aren't you? No matter how much you hurt, it is _always_ about someone else's pain. Who is going to take care of _your_ pain Robert?"

He says nothing so she leans in and kisses his cheek. "Take care of yourself okay. Your family loves you."

"Thank you," he mumbles as he walks over to an empty table obscured by the branches of a big tree. He needs some time to himself before heading home.

* * *

Anna is searching through her bag for her cellphone outside of Kelly's Diner when Finn suddenly grabs her by the arm.

_"Where the hell have you been,"_ he snaps.

_"Stop yelling at me,"_ she demands, as she yanks her arm away from him. "And don't you _ever_ manhandle me again or you won't like the results."

"Come on Anna, We need to talk."

"No Finn, _you_ need to talk…Me…_I_ need to figure out how the hell I am supposed to fix my family…you know, the family that you _broke._"

"Anna come on, that's not fair."

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me about _fair_…You do _not_ know what it means to have your whole _world_ taken away from you."

"Don't you think you are being a little melodramatic here Anna?"

"Oh that's right…you have absolutely _no_ idea how it feels to suddenly remember watching your husband die right in front of you. You lost your wife Finn…but how long did you grieve for her?"

"Anna, that's not…"

"_How long Finn…I want a God damn answer. _"

Finn puts his hands in his pockets and looks at his shoes. Anna knows what it means.

_"Look at me damn it,_" she yells, suddenly grabbing him by his shirt collar. "_I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that it took you no more than a god damn year to grieve for the woman you said was the love of your life. How do you do that Finn? How do you shut your feelings on and off like a Light switch? I am still grieving for my husband."  
_  
"Anna, I know that you miss Duke but…"

"You think I am talking about _Duke?_ This is _not_ about Duke. This is about the love of _my _life. It is about_ Robert._ You see, when I finally remembered that he was dead, _I_ wanted to be dead too. Every single part of me ached for him. I did not know how to move forward. "

"But you married that doctor didn't you," He asks. "You _must_ have moved on."

"David. I did not marry him for love Finn. I married him so I would not have to testify against him. I mean sure, I grew to love him but it was _never_ as it was with Robert. I missed my husband every day. There was this huge ache in my heart that only he could fill. It felt as if I was sleepwalking through life. I did not stop grieving for Robert okay. Not once."

"Anna, I don't understand. Robert is alive. "

"One of the hardest things you will _ever_ have to do is grieve for someone who is still alive. Robert and I did not break up Finn. We never fell out of love. So _forgive me _if I have a hard time understanding how you could move on so quickly. "

"We were making a life Anna…why are you saying all of this…"

"Because right now I am having a really hard time figuring out how I could downgrade so damn much. I mean, I had the greatest man I will _ever_ know when I had Robert and now…"

"You have _me_, is that what you were going to say? Geese Anna, when did you start to hate me so much?"

"_Maybe it was when you cost me the love of my life…my daughter…my granddaughter_. You convinced me to lie to them Finn and now Emma looks at me different…so does Robin…and…"

_"Robert_," he scoffs. "Everything is about your _precious_ Robert isn't it…well guess what Anna…he's _not_ the one who is _with_ you now…obviously he does not keep you satisfied for very long…"

"Oh Finn, that is where you are wrong…He can satisfy me in ways that you will _never_ satisfy me…That night that we got into that big fight. You know what I did. I laid in bed and thought of Robert pleasuring me while I used my hand. I hate to break it to you _sweetheart_ but I was a lot more turned on _then_ than I have _ever_ been with you."

"You don't mean that."

"Oh but I do. "

"When did you become such a spiteful _bitch_…?"

"Oh _honey_, it all depends on how you treat me. You treat me well, and I will _move mountains_ for you. You tear my family apart and I will _drop _those mountains on you. Tell me where you think you fall right now?"

_"For God's sake Anna…You are deliberately trying to push me away." _

"Is it working?"

"This isn't over Anna…not by a long shot."

"This is over when _I_ _say_ it is over. Now leave me alone. I am all out of talk."

He gives her one more irritated look before shoving his hands back into his pocket and walking away. Anna just stands there as a statue as tears begin to fall down her face. She looks up when she hears the rustle of leaves and Robert steps out of the shadows. She takes a few steps forward and when he does not turn to leave, she walks into his arms. He fights the urge to push her away but the sight of Anna's tears overpowers his common sense and he closes his arms around her, pulling her closer as she cries in his arms. _He was never good at watching her cry._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight **

Robert closes his eyes as Anna cries on his shoulder, his nostrils still recognizing the smell of her. In the past, it only took her smile to take the pain away. Now it was different. Just looking at her now releases a torrent of pain that sits in his chest like a raging inferno that was burning from the inside out. Sometimes he feels as if he cannot breathe; other times the pain just slowly gnaws at him until he breaks.

When Anna's tears slowly subside, she leans back in his arms.

"Thank you," she whispers.

He looks down at her even as he wipes the last teardrop away with his thumb. He cannot bare to look her in the eyes. He takes another second to compose himself then steps back and turns to walk away.

"Robert, please don't go…I'm sorry. "

"Then prove it."

He rushes passed her towards the diner. He would have preferred something stronger but every time he thinks of it, it brings to mind a memory of drinking with _her._ It used to be his way of coping. She has taken even that from him.

"What can I get you Robert," Bobbie asks.

He runs his fingers through his hair as he ponders. "Just a coffee for now," he decides.

She pours him a glass then looks at him more closely. She notices the empty stare that washes over him, through red and swollen eyes. He slouches into the chair in front of her with a slightly trembling chin.

"You look like Hell Robert," she says.

He casts his eyes downward and considers saying something witty in response but currently his mind is a kaleidoscope of painful memories and he does not have the energy for it. His brain can barely process his clouded thoughts. Let alone his response.

"I _feel_ like hell," he whispers, voice cracking with every syllable.

"Anna," she asks.

"What else?"

Bobbie knew Robert well enough to know that he did not want to talk about it, but the nurse in her could not let it go. She reaches for his hand and places hers over it.

"If you ever need anything, you give me a call okay? I'm worried about you."

"You sound like Robin and Emma," he says.

"Well deal with it. You have people who care about you."

"I'm beginning to see that. Thank you for the Coffee…and the company."

She watches him leave with a shuffling gait and sighs. She has never seen him this broken before. Not since Robin was presumed dead.

"That poor man," she states, as she goes back to her customers.

* * *

Anna's eyes take on a haunted expression after Robert's departure. _She knows she needs to speak to him but what could she possibly say that would convince him to listen to her._ She rubs the back of her neck as she shudders but it isn't from the cold. _It is the thought of losing everything._

Her heart is racing as she struggles with the thoughts that are tormenting her. Then she sees him walk out of the diner and her heart catches in her throat. _What will she do if he never speaks to her again? She feels as if she has already lost a piece of herself with his absence.  
_  
"What are you still _doing_ here," he snaps.

"I thought we could talk," she answers.

"I _told_ you that I do not have anything left to say to you. "

"Well that's just _too damn bad_ because _I_ have something to say to _you_."

"Anna, please…_please_ don't do this to me?"

She tries to get him to look at her but he stares at his shoes.

"Is that what we have come to now? You won't even look at me?"

"_What in the bloody hell do you want from me?_ If you have something to say then just say it. Otherwise, _please_ just leave me alone. You being here right now…it _hurts_ me. Is that what you want to hear Anna? Do you _enjoy_ the fact that you have completely ruined me?"

"How can you even say that…I _never_ wanted to hurt you…?"

"But you do Anna…You hurt me every day …every single time you choose to keep this lie going…every time you go home to a man you obviously do not love…"

"I'm trying to fix this Robert…Why can't you cut me a little slack. I know that our problems are about Peter."

"You want me to cut you some slack Anna? That is _all_ I have been doing since the lies have started. I am _not_ a saint okay. I cannot keep doing it when it hurts this much. _What do you want from me? You want my blood_…_God knows you already have my heart…what else do you want to take from me? You can have it all. Here… Just shoot me okay. It would be a lot kinder than shredding my heart into pieces like you are doing now…"  
_  
"I'm sorry Robert," she cries. "_God Damn it, I'm sorry_. Please do not do this. Please do not act like you don't matter to me."

"I _used to_ matter Annie. Once upon a time, I used to mean _everything_ to you. At least I did if you were being honest with me about _anything_. _Did you ever love me at all Annie? Or was I just some God damn mission to you_."

Tears are falling freely from her eyes now as she walks closer to him. "_How the hell can you ever doubt what we shared? You were not a mission to me Robert. You were everything I ever wanted. Everything I still want." _

"Then how did I become background at best to you. If I mattered at all to you, you would think about what your lies have done to me. Do you think I _want _to feel this way? _God damn it Anna…I wish I could un-love you right now. It hurts too much to love you…"_

"I _loved _you Robert. Madly. Deeply. All consuming. You can doubt everything else but don't you _dare_ doubt how I felt about you…how I _still_ _feel_ about you."

"Then why do you remember Peter Annie…why him and not our little boy. You do not remember the son that we were so excited about…the son that was taken before he was even given the chance to live…If you love me so damn much then why won't you even _try _to remember him…we might have lost him but _damn it, he will never be forgotten_…not by me."

"Robert, I…I don't know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything."

He took her face into his hands as he wrapped his arms around her…kissing her so deeply that she could feel her toes curl. Anna wraps her arms around his neck as he plunges his tongue into her mouth and he can hear her soft moans as the intensity of their kiss grows and grows.

When the kiss ends, he leans his forehead against hers as their breathing returns to normal…then he takes a step back.

"That is the _last _you will _ever _get from me unless you decide to do what I asked you to do. I love you Anna…but I am _through _letting you use me."

"Robert, I never…"

"_That is sure as hell how it feels._ I have never asked you for anything Annie…but I am _asking _you for this…and it is _nonnegotiable_. If you want me in your life…you _know_ what has to be done."

"What if I don't know how to tell him," she asked, her body still trembling from his touch.

"_Then figure it out_. We lost a baby Anna. You might not remember that but _I _do. I am not going to let you claim a son with the man who _killed _ours. I will not do it Annie. I just won't."

He walks towards her and picks up his gun, and without another word, he is gone. Anna just stands there trembling as she places a finger to the lips he just kissed.

_We had a son, she thinks. A son I cannot remember. What if he was the one she was remembering and not Peter._

"Robert, I love you, "she whispers. "I do not know how to fix this but I will figure it out. Please do not hate me. I could not stand it if you hated me."

Without another word, she picks up her purse and walks away. Peter just stands there and watches her go. He was far too angry to confront her now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine **

Robin opens the door to find Cameron standing behind it with a single pink rose. She smiles at him.

"Is that for my daughter," she asks.

"I heard she was having a rough time and I wanted to come see her sooner but Joss was kind of a mess and I didn't want to leave her either. "

"It's okay Cameron. You are here now. That's all that matters."

"How long have you two been in town?"

"It has been about four weeks now. "

"Are you planning on staying long?"

"It all depends on how long my dad needs me. I cannot leave him in this much pain alone. Emma really looks up to her grandpa. This is a hard thing for her to see. I think you might be exactly what she needs."

Cameron steps inside the apartment as Robin goes to fetch her daughter. When Robin comes down the stairs ten minutes later, Emma trailing behind her, he cannot help but notice how thin she looks.

"You got me a rose," she asks, a tight-lipped smile forming on her lips.

"Well pink means friendship and I wanted you to know that I am still your friend. You can still talk to me Emma. I care about you."

She takes the rose from his hand, their fingers brushing slightly, and quickly looks away. Robin thought it was sweet but she did not dare bring it up with her teenage daughter. Particularly not, right now.

"You want me to put that in water sweetheart, "Robin asks her.

"Um…Um, yeah," she stammers.

Emma leans in and hugs Cameron, his arms wrapping around her as he holds her close. Cameron cannot help but remember when he had a massive crush on this girl. Maybe a part of him still did.

"You want to go for a walk with me," she asks.

"I would like that very much," he answers.

Robin walks back in from the kitchen and Emma tells her they are going for a walk. Robin smiles at her and tells her to be careful. When they walk out the door, Robin sinks back into the couch.

"I think my little girl is growing up," she whispers.

A single tear rolls down her cheek. She knows that it was entirely innocent but it was reminiscent of when she and Stone first started dating. Emma looked at Cameron the same way she once looked at him. _She was not ready for her little girl to start having boys knocking at her door to take Emma out on a date. It was a damn good thing that Patrick was still in Berkley. _

_"Snap out of it Robin,"_ she demanded. "He's her friend. She _needs_ friends."

_"Who _needs friends," Robert asks as he walks in the door.

"Emma," she states.

"As in the _male species,_" he questions.

"_Relax _dad…he's just a friend."

"For _now_," he states. "What happens when he starts holding her hand and…and…"

Robert starts to sweat and Robin cannot help but laugh at him. "This is how you would have been when _I_ was a teen isn't it?"

"Am I really that bad," he questions.

"You are a nervous wreck. _Calm down daddy._ She is thirteen years old. "

"And _way _too young to start dating."

"Did I _say_ she was dating?"

"You are enjoying this aren't you?"

Robin puts her head on Robert's shoulder and he puts his arm around her. "I love you daddy. You can be a protective grandpa any time you want. Emma is lucky to have you. So am I."

"_I'm _the lucky one," he replies.

"Did something happen," she questions, as tears form in his eyes.

"I ran into your mother."

"I take it things did not go well."

"I don't know what to do Robin. I have _never _felt this kind of pain before. Sometimes I think it will suffocate me…other times, I wish she would do it for me."

"Oh Daddy," she whispers, her hand caressing his cheek. "Please talk to me. I am _so_ worried about you."

He runs his fingers through his hair, Robin's hand still on his arm. He supposed it was pointless to try to hide this from her.

"To tell you the truth _I'm_ worried about me. I am starting to become a liability Robin. _I am a Goddamn spy…"_

"You are also just a man who has had his heart trampled on. Give yourself a break daddy. _Everyone_ struggles sometimes."

"I just want this unbearable pain to stop. I have gone through losing your mother more than once and even then, it did not feel like dying. I _know_ what dying feels like. This is _so _much worse. "

"Tell me what you need. Tell me what I can do for you. Please daddy. Do not shut me out. "

"I hate myself for still loving her, you know? I _should _be able to walk away without wanting to turn around and beg her to stay. Why did I have to kiss her…now I cannot stop thinking about her? Talk me down Robin. I cannot go somewhere and get drunk because there is not_ anything_ strong enough to make me forget how she feels in my arms. "

"Okay…then tell me why you did it? "

"I wanted her to know what she was throwing away. I wanted her to understand that she cannot just tell me she is sorry and expect me to forgive her…"

"Well that accomplishes the _first_ thought…but the second…How does _kissing_ her accomplish that dad?"

"I never said my brain was rational…I just…I may hate that I still feel things for her but it doesn't mean they don't exist. I am begging you to tell me how to convince my heart to stop loving her. Please Robin…there has to be some way to make this hurt less."

"Oh Daddy, I wish there was. I wish I could tell you that things get better. The only way through this is _through_ it. "

"I was afraid you were going to tell me that."

"Can you tell me more of what happened? Maybe it will help to talk about it."

He looks into his daughter's face…those same understanding eyes…her_ mother's_ eyes…and he knows that as much as he hates that she is seeing him this way, he cannot deny her either. _She is his lifeline just as much as Emma is. _

"I overheard an argument she had with Finn. It brought up so many memories from when we were both missing. I just…_I do not understand how she can remember Peter but she cannot remember the child that we lost." _

"Mom was pregnant?"

"Our son never stood a chance with that monster. They sent me pictures Robin. The WSB. It is how they kept me in line. _They sent be bloody pictures of the…the dead baby. It was not even a person. It was just skin._ You know what they told me after that. They looked me in the eyes and they said…If you do not want your wife and your daughter to end up like your son then you will walk away from them. Do you have any idea what that did to me Robin? I wanted to come home to you and your mother every day but every time I tried, I could see that picture in my mind. I had nightmares about them killing you right in front of me. It haunted me every day. When I told you that I died in every way that matters that day, I meant it. I had to put you, your mother, and our little boy in this compartment and not think about you because if I did…Robin, if I did then it would have destroyed me…and eventually they would have killed me because of it. An agent who has a weakness is a liability and they needed me to be their bloody assassin. I hated myself for it but…Robin I would have done anything to keep you and your mother alive. What happened to our son…_that was just a bloody accident according to them…They were trying to kill us but he was just collateral damage…collateral damage?" _

"It is okay daddy," Robin said, as she pulled him into her arms. "Let it out. I know you do not want to but it is doing you no good to hold on to all of this pain. Let me be there for you now. Please. Let me be there."

"I just want our little boy back Robin," he cries. "I want our son."

"I _know _you do," she soothes. "Oh _God,_ I _know _you do."

"Why can't your mother remember him Robin? Doesn't she care how much I need her?"

Robin wipes her father's tears with the back of her thumb and forces him to look into her eyes. "I wish I had the answers you need but I don't. All I can do is offer to be here for you. I know I am not mom but I love you so much. Mom would be here for you if she could."

"Do you really believe that Robin?"

"I do…with all my heart. "

"I miss her so much…it hurts like hell but god damn it, I miss her."

"Shhh," she whispers as she rocks him in her arms. "I'm right here daddy. I am not going anywhere. You can let go now."

It was in that moment when Robert's tears went from slowly falling to bursting open like a gust of wind. His body shook as Robin held him in her arms…his grief nearly suffocating him as it finally hits him. Robin can only hope she has what it takes to comfort him, when he really needs her mother.

"I love you daddy," she cries into his shoulder. "We will get through this together. We will."

_She lost a brother too. A brother that until this very moment, she did not even know she had.  
_

* * *

Anna takes the key off her keychain and sets it on the table. It was strange to think that her life here had come down to just four walls. It was no longer a home for her.

"I'm breaking up with you," she announces, the minute he steps through the door.

"Well _hello _to you too Anna," he growls.

"There's no point in making small talk Finn. I have made my decision. Why beat around the bush."

"We haven't even _talked _about this Anna…"

"What is there to talk about Finn? I do not want to fight with you anymore. I just want to make a clean break."

He looked at her but he could not tell if she was even looking back. Anna's eyes were windows to her soul but this time he could see nothing there. There was no laughter in her eyes. There was no passion. It was as if she was looking at something only she could see.

"So that's it then? You can really look at me right now and feel_ nothing?_"

"Do you want me to be cruel Finn? Asking me questions like that are only asking me to open the door to feelings I have for someone else and I don't think you really want to know that."

"_God damn it Anna…why is everything always about him now…What the hell does he have that I don't?" _

She glances over her shoulder, the fire back in her eyes, as they grow dark and wide.

"My _heart,_ "she emphasizes. "Robert has my heart. "

Her words wounded him as much as if she had slapped him and he found himself stumbling backwards as if she had.

"Are you _drunk,"_ he demands. "_Look at me Anna. Tell me how much you have had to drink?"  
_  
"Oh so _now_ I have to be wasted to tell you that I am in love with another man? You want me to walk a straight line. _Watch me_. I am _not_ drunk Finn. I am stone cold sober. I am also head over heels in love with Robert."

"_How long,_" he challenges. "If you are so damn _hot _for your ex than tell me how long it has been?"

"Oh I don't know…since the first time I ever laid eyes on him. "

"Anna…"

"I'm serious Finn. I may have loved you for a short time in my life but Robert…I have _always_ been in love with Robert. I was nineteen when I met him and he completely changed my world. I mean, sure I have loved other men and he has loved other women but it has just never compared to what we share…what we will _always _share. I know that is not what you want to hear but I am not going to placate you just so you can feel better about yourself."

"Have you been _screwing_ him behind my back?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you…then you could make _him _the bad guy."

"Isn't that _exactly_ what he is…the man that _manipulated_ you into his bed…convinced you that you don't love me…"

"I _don't _love you Finn…and Robert doesn't _have _to manipulate me _anywhere_…I'm there because I _want_ to be."

"So you _have_ been screwing him…"

"Not that I have to dignify this with an answer but no…not that I haven't had dreams about him that way. _I am crazy about him okay. I think about him all the time. I want him to touch me. I want him to marry me…" _

"_Marry you? I thought you said you did not want to get married again. Isn't that what you said when you turned me down." _

"You were not Robert Finn. I wanted to marry _Robert._ I could not admit that to myself then but I have been thinking about this for the last four weeks and it just keeps coming back to the same thing. _Everything i_s wrong without Robert. My world just doesn't make sense without him in it. I can live without _you_ Finn…you not being around has not really affected me at all…but Robert…I bet you haven't noticed on the nights that you _have_ been around that I've been crying myself to sleep every night…that I look at my phone just hoping that _maybe_ he changed his mind. I broke the heart of the most _selfless_ man I have _ever_ known and I am _not_ going to be okay until I have fixed what I destroyed."

Finn runs his fingers through his hair as he paces the floor. "How can you break up with me as if it is just another thing you have to take care of?"  
_  
"Because you won't listen to me_…I have been trying to tell you that I am not happy with you but you want to blame it all on_ Robert_. This is _not_ Robert's fault Finn. Even If I _never _convince him to take me back, you and I will _still _be over."

_"Why? _Why can't you just _try _to make things work with me?"

"Because I am not in love with you. Because there is someone in the world that I _am_ in love with. Because _you _deserve more than a woman who can never offer you her whole heart. I _settled _for you before I realized that I was not only hurting you and Robert, but I was hurting _myself _most of all. I cannot do this anymore Finn. I cannot pretend to feel something for you when _every_ time I look at you, I just keep thinking that you are the reason I am not with my soulmate. I never thought that I would hurt him so much that this amazing man would refuse to be a part of my life at all but now that I have lost him, all I can do is find a way to win him back. _That_ is what I want Finn. I want _Robert_. _Today, Tomorrow and Forever._ I am sorry but I do."

She looks at him one more time before she takes her suitcase and heads for the door. "Whatever is left here, I don't want. Give it to charity or something."

"That's all you are going to say?"

"I have said all I have to say. The more I try to talk to you, the angrier you get. I am not trying to be cruel but you need to understand that I am not coming back. Please do not call me Finn. I will not answer your phone. Do not come to see me…I will not answer the door."

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"I don't hate you at all…I actually do not feel _anything _for you anymore. I just do not want to give you false hope and I do not want to make Robert think I have not given him _exactly _what he deserves…someone to put him first. That is what I am doing Finn. I am _finally_ putting Robert first. I am choosing him over _every_ other choice the way I_ should _have done from the beginning."

Without another word, Anna walks out the door.

Maybe he was a fool to have ever thought he stood a chance against the _great _Robert Scorpio…but somehow now that she was gone, he did not feel that crushing grief he thought he would feel. He was actually kind of relieved. _Could he really be more upset about the fact that she broke up with him than he was hurt over the fact that she was no longer a part of his life?_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I would like to thank my friend ShanRB for helping me with some of the details of this chapter. Finn fans might not want to read this chapter. lol.

**Chapter Ten **

Cameron and Emma walked in silence until they reached the Eckert Bakery. Emma took a seat in the back as Cameron ordered them each a cookie. She smiled at him but it was forced. He reached over the table and took her hand.

"You can talk to me Emma. You know that right?"

"I know…It's just…"

A single tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another and Cameron pulled her against his chest. She tried to suppress the cries at first but the rawness in her throat eventually gave way to her pain and she was clutching onto him as the sobs rocked her body. When her tears finally subsided, she looked up at him with a hollow stare.

"I don't know what is wrong with me Cam," she berated herself.

"There is _nothing _wrong with you Em. You have a _right_ to feel whatever it is you are feeling."

"I don't _know _what I am feeling. Or at least I do not understand it."

"Then how about we talk about it a little. Maybe I can help you figure it out."

There was a slight pause as she considered his words. _Could she really trust him with the enormity of her pain?_

"Where do I start," she finally asked.

"How about with what upsets you the most."

She swallows the lump in her throat as she looks at him. "I used to think that my grandma was one of the coolest people in the world. I was _never_ afraid of anything because I _knew_ that she could _fix _anything. Now…Now I do not even think she cares about us anymore. "

"What makes you say that," Cameron asks.

"She hurt my grandpa more than I have _ever_ seen him hurt. I always thought of him as a superhero. I thought he was unbreakable. I know different now. I know that when my grandpa does not want to get out of bed in the morning or when he is crying himself to sleep at night, it is because of _her._ The worst part about it is that it has changed how _I _feel about her…I cannot count on her anymore Cam. What happens if she gets that angry with _me?_ Will she just disappear from _my_ life too? If she can fix anything in the world, why does she not care enough to fix what she broke? Sometimes when I think about everything she has done, I wonder if I should hate her. What if I _do_ hate her Cam. What kind of person would that make me?"

"It makes you human. Life is tough Em. It is only natural that you are going to question things you once thought were set in stone…And you know what… It is okay. You are still going to be Emma Scorpio-Drake, one of the most amazing girls I have ever had the privilege to know."

"Really?"

"Really. I am here for you Em. Always. "

"Thank you Cam. I just do not know what to do anymore. If anything happened to my grandpa, I don't know how I would handle it."

"You really look up to him don't you?"

"I just want him to be okay."

"And you think he _won't_ be?"

She pauses slightly as she takes a deep breath. "Sometimes I have dreams that…that…"

"It's okay. You do not have to say it. I want you to promise me something okay?"

"What?"

"Next time you have one of those dreams, you call me. I do not care what time it is. We will talk it through. Your grandpa is going to be okay. I want to hear you say that."

"Cam…"

"Just trust me okay. You can do that for me can't you?"

She smiles at him slightly and says, "My grandpa is going to be okay."

"Good. Now say it like you believe it."

"My grandpa is going to be okay."

"That's my girl, "he says, as he wraps his arms around her and she puts her head on his shoulder.

"Next time you have one of those dreams, I want you to repeat that in your head. Eventually, you are going to believe it."

"I'm so glad you're here Cam," she whispers.

"Oh Em, so am I. "

She buries her head in the crook of his neck and they just sit there in silence. It felt so good to have his friend back in his life. He could only hope she felt the same.

* * *

Robin has her arm around Robert's shoulder as she helps him over to the waterfront. She knows this is where he and her mother used to go so many times before when they needed to think. She hopes it will give him some peace.

"Did you and mom ever get around to talking about names?" Robin asked.

Robert swallows the lump in his throat as he looks out at the water. Robin's arms are still around him, supporting his weight when he thinks he will falter.

"We didn't know for very long but…"

"You don't have to tell me if it is too hard for you daddy. I just want to know what you can tell me."

"We were going to name him Andrew, after your mother."

"Andrew Scorpio. Has a nice ring to it."

"You would have had him wrapped around your little finger wouldn't you," Robert asked.

"I don't know what you mean," she quipped.

"Robin I'm…I don't know how to do this. When I thought _you_ were dead, I nearly jumped off a bridge. "

"Oh Daddy, I never wanted that for you."

"I know but I didn't see any way out. I don't how to do _this_ anymore then I knew how to do it _then_."

"Then we will do it together alright. One-step at a time. Until mom is here to do it with us. "

"I _need_ her Robin. I hate that I do but…"

"I know. Don't worry; your secret is safe with me."

She kisses his cheek and smiles at him. _This was his girl and right now, she was his lifeline. He may hate that she has to see him like this but it did not make it any less true. _

Robin loosens her hold on her dad and he takes a step closer to the water's edge. Its days like today when he feels as lost as the ships who wander too far out into the ocean. _He wonders if he will ever find clarity again_. Robin put her head on Robert's shoulder and they stand there in silence. They did not need to fill the silence with empty words; the comfort of each other's embrace was enough.

"Well isn't this _touching_," Finn states, sarcastically. "I take it she doesn't know what a piece of _garbage_ her father is."

"Well at least I am a part of her life. That is _more_ than I can say for _you_."

"Oh _here _we go...as if you have the right to judge _anyone _with the dirt that you have on _your _hands."

"You have something to accuse me of…or is this just more useless babble."

"As if you don't already know."

"Believe it or not, I _don't_ speak_ 'stupid' _fluidly. "

There was silence on both sides but Robin knew that if hatred were visible, the air would be blood red. She puts a hand on Robert's shoulder, in much the same way Anna used to do to calm him.

"Are you _finally_ satisfied now that she has come crawling back into your bed?"

"If I knew what you were talking about, I would know to be offended or not."

"_How long Scorpio,_" Finn challenges? "H_ow long have you two been screwing." _

_"Leave him alone Finn,"_ Robin demands. "Did you not hear him when he says he doesn't know what you are talking about?"

"I don't believe him."

"I don't _care _what you believe._ Leave my father alone_."

"So now you have your _daughter_ fighting your battles? Why don't you just be a man and admit what you've done."

"Go away Finn. I have already told you I don't know what you are talking about."

He turns away from him, no longer wanting anything to do with this conversation or with Finn.

_"Like hell you don't,"_ Finn yelled, as his fist crashed into Robert's jaw, the impact sending him backwards. If it had been just the two of them, he might have given him the fight he came looking for, but not in front of his daughter. _Never in front of Robin. _

_"What the hell is your problem, _"Robin demands, kneeling down next to her father. "You _can't _just come out here and start _beating_ on him just because you don't _like _him."

"Robin, with all due respect, this _doesn't _concern you."

"What's the matter little man? Can't handle a strong woman? Is that why you turned Anna against the people she loves, so you actually stood a chance at_ keeping _her? You would _never_ be able to handle the _real _Anna Devane."

"Unlike _you _right?"

"Well at least _I_ accept her for who she _really _is…I don't have to turn her into some helpless damsel in distress just so I can save the day. I got news for you Finn…Anna does _not _need to be saved. Except maybe from _you._"

"Is that what you told her to convince her to sever all ties with me? I bet that was some _enticing _pillow talk wasn't it?"

"You mean Anna actually did something _right _in regards to you_…_good for her. She is _far_ more _woman _than a man like you could _ever_ handle."

"Oh Really? Is that why she ended up in your bed?"

"Maybe she just got tired of having to fake an orgasm with you?"

Finn wants to hit him again but when he takes a step back and looks at Robert again, he has that self satisfied smirk on his face, as if he is challenging him to deny it.

"You mean you aren't going to tell me that Anna gets so turned on when you touch her that she forgets her own name...but she _certainly_ remembers_ yours._ No? I guess she's just saving it for _me_ then...because boy did I hear a lot of "Yes" and well..."God."

"_Dad_."

_"What? He_ _asked_."

She rolls her eyes at him and Finn turns to face him, nostrils flaring.

_"What the hell is your problem?_

"If you ask me a smart ass question then you are going to get a smart ass reply."

"_Go to hell Scorpio,_" he yells, as he turns to walk away.

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you are _more _upset about her leaving your sorry ass then you actually _are _about _losing _her," Robert calls after him. "A man who _knows _what Anna is worth, would be _far_ more focused on finding a way to get her back then they would be about fighting with _me_. Chew on_ that_ for a while Doctor. You _never _deserved her."

Finn just shoves his hands into his pocket and walks away without another word.

"Are you okay Daddy," Robin asks, her hand caressing his cheek.

"Nothing a little ice can't cure right?"

"I wasn't talking about the bruised jaw. I _know_ you have lived through far worse. I want to know if this changes anything for you."

Robert runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "Honestly Robin, I don't _know. _"

"Can you tell me how you are feeling then?"

"I don't know that either. I don't think I _really_ expected her to listen to me at all and now that she has started to…Honestly Robin, I don't know _what_ to feel."

"Fair enough," Robin admits, helping him to his feet. She puts her arm around his shoulder and Robert kisses her cheek.

"Robin, I promise I am not going to do anything like I did when I thought I lost you. I was at my weakest then and I felt so many emotions that I did not know how to handle. I shut everyone out, including your mother. We _should _have been grieving together but instead, we both had our own emotional baggage that we did not know how to deal with, let alone, _share_ with each other. I know now that it was the wrong thing to do. I am sorry I was not strong enough then Robin. I hope you are not disappointed in your old man?"

"I could _never_ be disappointed in you, daddy. I understand. I just need to know that I am not going to lose you that way. You have so much life left to live and I do not _ever _want you to blame yourself for things that were _not _your fault. I love you just the way you are. Understand?"

"Back at you kiddo."

"Good. Then let me take you home and cook you dinner. Emma should be coming home soon too. We need to be a family right now more than ever. What do you say?"

"When my daughter offers me a free meal, I'm not going to turn her down. "

* * *

"Peter, we need to talk," Anna says calmly.

She knows this will not be easy for him to hear but she also knows it is the right thing to do.

_"What the hell do you want,"_ Peter demands.

"Well hello to you too," Anna replies, pushing passed him into his hotel room at the metro court hotel.

"I _didn't_ say you could come in."

"I don't take _orders _from you," she reminds him. "_Sit down_. You are_ going _to listen to me."

"I don't have to listen to _anything _you have to say. I already _know _why you are here."

"I sincerely doubt that. "

"Then you _aren't _here to repeat more of Scorpio's lies? You _aren't _here to tell me you are _not_ my mother?"

She takes a few calming breaths as she looks at him.

"How did you find out," she asks him?

"That's _all _you can say. _After everything you have done, what you are worried about is how I found out._"

"I'm not worried about that at all…I came here to tell you _everything_. I am just trying to figure out why you _still _think it is a lie."

"Oh _please_…Scorpio has hated me since the moment he found out I _existed._ Why _wouldn't_ he be lying about who I belong to?"

"Robert Scorpio is a _damn good _man who believes in honesty and integrity. _Why the hell _do you_ think_ he wanted me to tell you the truth? He might not _like_ you Peter, but he still knew you deserved the truth. _I _am the one who chose to lie to you. "

"Which is the _only_ reason why you are here now isn't it? Because your _precious _Scorpio won't have anything to do with you as long as you are _tainted _by me. Why don't you just _admit_ that you _never _wanted me? "

"So this is now about _your _hurt feelings? What about _mine?_ What about how _I_ felt knowing that I hurt a wonderful man, who has been _nothing _but loyal to me since the moment I met him…Or that I had a child with the man that _terrorized_ me? I do not blame you for _existing_ Peter…I never could…but you are making this very difficult. Do you even _want_ to know the truth at all? Or are you going to prove to be _exactly _what Robert _said _you were."

_"What the hell are you talking about?_"

"I _wanted_ to believe you were not _anything _like your _insane _father. I _still _want to believe that. For _your_ sake. But maybe he was right…maybe you really _are_ just like your father."

"I am _nothing _like that _monster."_

"Then prove it. Let me tell you what happened. "

"Fine. Make it quick. I have things to do."

Anna bit her bottom lip to keep from saying something she would later regret. She calmly explained to Peter about the memory mapping and Alex's suggestion. She also explained to him how she now knows that he was the memory that was implanted.

"That's _convenient,_" he snapped.

She did not acknowledge his outburst. She just told him the facts. When she was done, she waited him out. She could only hope he came to accept it as _she _did, when her voice of reason had laid it all out for her.

"So basically what you are saying is that you would rather take the word of a man you _still _want to _screw _…"

Her hand crashed against his cheek before he could even finish his sentence. _She was done with his crap. She was done feeling guilty for something that she did not even do. _

"You do not _get _to treat me like that. Not_ anymore._ "

"Are you going to deny that you would deny my birthright if it meant you could get into his pants again?"

"You know what Peter…I _don't_ have to dignify that with an answer. If you want to continue to deny the facts as I have told you, there is not really anything I can do about it."

"Are you _done_ yet?"

_"We _are Peter. I am _not_ going to destroy my family any longer because of _you._"

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that I am no longer going to try to have a relationship with someone who doesn't _want_ one with me…with someone who has destroyed every last bit of my family. I am sorry Peter, but I will _not _be a part of your life at the expense of my family."

"You mean at _Robert's_ expense…"

"_Stop it Peter. Stop blaming him for everything._ _I_ am the one who decided to lie to _everyone_ that mattered to me because of _you_…because I _thought_ I owed it to you for the life that you lived. I know better than that now. You might be my Nephew and under ordinary circumstances, we _might_ be able to salvage something from whatever it was we were building…But these are _not_ ordinary circumstances and you do _not _seem willing to accept anything I offer you, and I _have_ tried. I have a daughter and two grandchildren who mean the world to me. Noah is too young to understand the choices I made but Robin and Emma are suffering. Robert is suffering too and I will _not _apologize for loving him because I _do._ They are my _family_, _they_ come first, and _yes_ that means Robert."

Anna looks at him one last time before she picks up her purse and walks out, without another word. A part of her did love him…he was her nephew after all…but not enough to let his anger and bitterness destroy what was left of her family. Not enough to let her family feel like she was not putting them first. Peter was _Alex's_ problem now…Fixing her relationship with Robert, Robin and Emma was hers


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven **

Anna did not know what she expected to feel after talking to Peter but she had not expected to feel a sense of relief. _What kind of person was she, she wondered. Should she not feel some sort of remorse for casting him out of her life? _

Yet, she had tried to have a relationship with him when she believed he had been her son. He had not been interested then. She had turned herself inside out trying to salvage some sort of common ground on which they could build on. He had shut the door in her face every time. _Why should she feel guilty for walking away when he had shut down on her from the very first moment he learned of her existence? He had even tried to kill her once. _She had forgiven him then and maybe a part of her would still forgive him now…but not enough to have a relationship with. Not at her family's expense. Not when Robin and Emma wanted nothing to do with her and _certainly_ not when Robert looked at her as if he did not know her at all. Those eyes that once adored her now looked right through her. It could not have hurt more if he had slapped her.

Now she was standing at his door and for the first time since she had known him, she had no idea what she could say to him to make him understand what he meant to her. Finn had once told her that Robert was not her family any more but he had been wrong. _Robert Scorpio had been family from the first moment she laid eyes on him and he would continue to be family until the day she died…maybe even beyond. _

"What do you want," Robin asked, as she pulled open the door to her father's apartment. _That was her girl…the greatest thing she and Robert had ever done together and she was speaking to her as if she was the enemy. It hurt. God how it hurt. _

"Robin," she pleads. "Please just give me five minutes."

She wanted to pull her into her arms and tell her how much she loved her but she knew that Robin would reject that. Just the way she was standing, told her she was still so angry with her.

"Clock's ticking," she stated.

"I love you Robin. I know you do not believe that right now but it is the truth and I need you to hear it."

"_Stop it okay. Just stop. I can't listen to this right now." _

"I'm sorry baby. I'm _so_ sorry."

"Is there anything else," she asks.

"Can you please just tell your father that I did what he asked? I told Peter the truth. I ended things with Finn."

"You broke up with Finn? _So What?_ Was that _before _or _after_ he hit Dad? "

_"What," _Anna gulps. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes tightened with worry.

"_Is he okay? Robin please. If he's hurt…" _

"I think _you_ took care of that _long _before _this_ ever happened, don't you think?"

"Robin…"

She thought about just closing the door in her face but the part of her who still wanted to believe in her mother, eventually caved. "He's Fine okay. There is a little bruising but I made him put some ice on it. Physically he's fine."

"_Thank God_," she whispers, almost to herself. "Oh Thank God."

Robin looked at her mother one more time before turning and walking back into the apartment, the door closing, now signaling the end of the conversation.

* * *

Bobbie was going over the chart for her next patient when the doctor on call walked in. His eyes looked as lifeless as his unkempt appearance.

"Something wrong," he asks, facetiously.

Most nurses had refused to work with him recently. She was beginning to see why.

"You can put the attitude away for one," she stated. "I know what is going on in your personal life Finn but it does not excuse your behavior recently. You are making mistakes Doctor. Mistakes that _could _be fatal."

Finn was about to protest when Bobbie handed him the file she was reading. "Tell me what is wrong with this treatment plan," she asks him.

She waited him out-watched as his eyebrows raised and he turned the page more than once. She knew he was getting it now.

"That's your signature isn't it," she asked, anticipating his next question.

_"_How could this happen," he questions, running a hand through his hair.

"You tell me. "

Finn pauses as he hands the file back her. He knows she has him dead to rights. What can he possibly say to defend himself now?

"I guess there's nothing I can say to convince you to let this go is there?"

"You almost gave a patient something they were allergic to. It could have_ killed _them. What do _you_ think?"

"Look I'm just…tired. I know that is not an excuse but…Bobbie, you _know_ what has been going on between Anna and I. I'm not handling it well I guess."

"I hate to break it to you Finn but _everybody_ gets dumped at some point in their lives…if you can't handle it then maybe you should not be a doctor."

"As if _you_ haven't made any mistakes," he snaps.

"Oh I will be the first to admit that I have made my share of bad decisions…_one_ of them led to the death of my daughter B.J. Don't you _dare _stand there and blame _everybody else_ for _your _mistakes. Go home Finn. Take a nap. Do not come back until you can act like a doctor. This hospital cannot afford to put patients' lives in danger due to the negligence of one of its doctors. "

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am _very_ serious. You cannot be working on Patients when your judgment is this poor. What would have happened if I did not catch this Finn? You cannot concentrate. You are so on edge that most of the hospital staff refuses to work with you. Your attention span is low. That does not even _cover_ the fact that your immune system is down due to your lack of sleep. If I did not know any better, I would think you were high."

"_I haven't taken Zen-Zen in two years,_" Finn insists. "_And I will not stand here and let you tell me otherwise." _

Bobbie watches Finn stalk out of the hospital with his fists clenched at his sides. She has had to work with all kinds of Doctors in the past, but she had to admit that what just transpired still surprised her. _Why had Finn gotten so defensive? _In her experience, it only meant there was just a little bit of truth involved. She could only hope she was wrong this time.

Taking the chart with her, she walks into the patient's room to clean up Finn's mess. She would be watching him a lot more closely now.

* * *

Alex was holding a picture frame in her hand as she looked at the cupcake with one candle on the table and wondered if Anna was doing the same thing. It was their birthday today.

"I'm sorry Anna," she sighs, as she closes her eyes and can almost feel her arms around her in another lifetime.

_"Why are you making me celebrate Alex? I am really not in the mood to celebrate anything." _

_"And that's exactly why you should. It is our first birthday together Anna. You do not have to feel guilty for living when he did not. " _

_"Is that…is that what you think I am doing?" _

_"Sweetie, who can blame you? He lost his life trying to save you…But what would Robert tell you if he were here right now? I think you know the answer." _

_"He would want me to be happy…he would insist on it actually. And he would say it with that irritatingly smug look on his face too." _

_"That look that says I want to smack you but damn it I want to kiss you too…" _

_"I would give anything to see that look again…Really I would." _

_"I know you would," she says, and pulls her sister into her arms for a hug. "God I wish there was something I could do to bring him back to you. I know how much you miss him." _

_"I don't know how to do any of this without him. I do not want to celebrate Alex. I just want my husband back." _

_"I wish I could give you that sweetie. You deserve to be happy. " _

_"He was the only one who was truly able to do that. How am I supposed to be happy now Alex? He is gone and the only thing I feel is empty." _

_Alex takes a step closer to Anna and kisses her cheek. "I can't take the place of your husband but if you'll let me then I would like to try to help you with this. One-step at a time. What do you say?" _

_She forces a smile and looks at the single cupcake with a candle on the table. _

_"This is pretty pathetic you know?" _

_"Don't look at me…it's my birthday too." _

_"I love you Alex. I guess I can take a few hours to be grateful that we can share a birthday together. Finally. Tomorrow though…" _

_"I love you Anna. You don't have to be anyone but yourself." _

_"If anyone plays any god damn sappy love songs tonight, I swear…" _

_"I will make sure the band is on high alert…"_

_"Alex…"_

_"I'm kidding. There is no live music Anna." _

_"Alright. Then let's go." _

_Alex wrapped her arm around her sister and they walked back into the party. She could hear her sister's silent thoughts as they walked away. "I'm doing this for you Scorpio. I love you so much. " _

She places a kiss to the frame and says, "I had no choice Anna. It was either you or my son. Do not think I do not feel bad about what I did to you. I do, every day. You are my sister and I love you."

She blows out the candle and says, "Happy Birthday Anna. I miss you."

She puts the frame back into its hiding spot and wipes the tears from her face. She hears a knock at the door and looks through the peephole.

"_Heinrich,_" she gasps, as she pulls open the door.

"Hello Mother," he states bitterly.

She pulls him inside the hotel quickly and shuts it. They stare each other down.

"If I didn't know any better, I would think you didn't want to see me," he declares .

"I thought we agreed it was too dangerous."

"That was _before_ our plans started to unravel."

"What _happened_…?"

"How could you let this happen mother? Do you hate me that much?"

She trembled as she looked at him. His eyes were just like his fathers. **Cold. Bitter. Heartless.**

_"I'm talking to you_," he said, as he grabbed her arm and threw her against the wall.

_"I don't hate you at all Heinrich. You know that._ "

"But you lie don't you? You lied to hide me from my father. You lied about who my mother was. Then you messed with Anna's memories and almost got her killed when I found out. "

_"You know damn well why I did that…"_

"You said it was for _me_…as if I believe that _now._ This is all your fault Mother. You got sloppy. Now your sister knows that I am not her son and everything is falling apart. Maybe I should just finish what I started and be done with it."

"_What the hell does that mean?" _

He smiles at her wickedly and says, "Maybe it is time for Anna to die for real this time. It would certainly solve a lot of problems."

He looks at her one more time and then walks out of her hotel room, slamming the door behind him. Alex runs after him. "_Please don't do this Heinrich. Please God. Don't kill her." _

"You know, it's _so _touching to know how you _really _feel," he yells.

"I don't want you to go to jail Heinrich. If you kill her, you will be _lucky_ if that is _all _that happens to you. I do not want to lose you okay. I love you."

"Don't worry mother…you've already _lost_ me. From now on, you are _dead _to me."

"_Don't go Heinrich…Please don't go…I love you…God damn it, you are my son and I love you…don't go._"

He never even looks back at her as he walks away and Alex forces herself to harden her heart once more. There was only _one _thing she could do now. She had to find her sister. She had to warn her.


End file.
